Even if you don't like my novel, leaving a review will help attract other readers to a book they may enjoy, even if you didn't. At the very least, it helps to see that it's been read by others and people can make their own choices. Some people, like me, read the bad reviews to look for actual criticisms to learn from them, so please, don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. I'm an artist. My feelings are always hurt... but in all seriousness, reviews mean people are talking about the book and that's the hardest obstacle to overcome: abscurity. Being an indie author comes with a lot more expenses and work. You are your own marketing squad. You are the only one that will push your book with the same enthusiasm... until other people start to fall in love... and then it becomes its own entity... a life of its own.
And for an author, the dream is for your book to become other people's book: the book they turn to for comfort or familiar characters... the book they reread countless times until they need another copy because the first fell apart. We all have books like that, at least, we bookworms all have books like that.
My dream is for my book to become someone's ratty, torn, barely held together edition. Something that was clearly loved and appreciated.
Lots of love.
The database where my book is published says that I have sold 12 copies, not counting the ones I've bought (I think it's only counting Amazon at the moment) and sold. So far, I have sent out 7 signed books and have another 4 waiting to go, just had the order for three more this morning and honestly, it's going well. I am excited and hopeful that I may actually get on a list of some kind for new authors to watch.
After mailing them out, I went to spend time with my horses... later I need to head to the store and pick up stuff to make Lasagna (my husband's birthday request) and red velvet cake. His birthday is tomorrow and while I can't do much this year, I spoiled him on Father's Day and gave him his boots early so he'd make use of them. He knows we love him... but it's drill weekend too so there's not much I can do to celebrate.
However, next weekend we're going to Cripple Creek, the small mountain town where we just went under contract with a house... It's a beautiful town so I'm going to treat him to a special family lunch and then we'll meet our doctors and dentist and hopefully meet the fence guy who will help me build a good pasture for my horses...
I can't wait to go up there and write my next book... the view is incredible.
Lots of love.
I am officially a Goodreads Author... I can't believe it. It's almost anticlimactic at this day in age because you get an email while you're pooping... for example, not saying I was... I wasn't actually. I was sitting at my husband's computer (spoiler alert, I broke my Macbook), trying to figure out what I want to do when I got the alert on my phone. I'm a Goodreads Author. Wow.
Today's also a good day because I was able to spend some time with my horses. If you follow my twitter or facebook, you've seen photos of Durango and Molly, my beautiful quarter horses. Just being near them is healing for the soul, but working with them, building that bond between human and 1000lbs creature is amazing. They make me feel so wonderful, especially when they wrap their big heads over my shoulder to hug. Best feeling ever and... the reality is there is nothing better than horse smell. They'll never manage to bottle it but, my gosh, if you've ever loved a horse, you know what I'm referring to.
Other than that, so far, the publishers say I've sold 11 books, not counting my personal inventory.... and I've sold 9 personalized copies! So progress! Each book is one more person who can fall in love with my characters.
Lots of love. Have a wonderful day.
I spent the better part of the afternoon researching a way to bring a nonbinary character into my story in an organic, wholesome way, as it deserves to be told and then it hit me. A Metis Shaman of Two Spirits would fulfill my desire to help Xavier along his path AND create a true to culture depiction of a Mitew Tantoo Riel, a Metis Canadian who becomes a Spirit Teacher in the Unseen for my characters. They will teach Xavier and Arya about the Spirits, Manitou (the Mysterious Being) and Sky Woman's true desires. They will be able to wear the False Face mask, preform ritual ceremonies including spirit walking, healing, diving, spirit cleansing and more. I aim to treat this character with the love and respect they deserve. Mitew will join my new characters, Ilma and Shafa Khan, Pakastani Jinn sisters I mentioned before.
Stay tuned for more...
So much has happened over the last few days... Where to start?
Well, let's start with the fact that it's still somehow acceptable for doctors and nurses to deny patient history and success with certain medications in a "my way or the highway" sort of crap. I had a terrible appointment with that provider and I will never go back. It was a complete waste of time and money. Especially since I knew this was a likely outcome and brought my husband to support me in this.
Luckily, we are moving to a new town in the mountains and I am so excited because the house is magnificent. We are officially under contract so I am very excited. We're heading over next Friday so we can sign up with the doctor and dentist over there and meet with a fence guy to build fencing for Molly and Durango (my horses). Oh and the tub... my goodness. I can't wait to soak in that with the jets on and think about my next novel... or how I'm going to train my horses...
In Literary news, I bought a small supply of ten copies and sold all of them within twelve hours, so now I'm waiting for the completion of money transfers so I can ship them out to the buyers. I will buy more copies to sign soon but family and friends had first dibs. Of course... And I am actively working on my next novel: Descend, the sequel to Ascend. I have included a new supernatural creature thanks to a good friend in Pakistan for helping me understand the lore and the mythology much better, in addition to all my research (oh, yes, even my fantasy requires research!!).
Other than that, things are good. I had a hard day yesterday but today is better... except for the fact I spilled coffee all over my macbook, which is my primary writing tool. I turned it off and it's resting in rice, so fingers crossed I didn't just make a really expensive mistake.
Lots of love and be well!!!
So I've begun my research for my next novel: the sequel to Ascend: Descend by L.M. Gose. Have you heard about Jinn? A jinnī is related to an angel or a demon but they aren't either. It's said that God made the Angels on the Wednesday, Jinn on Thursday and Humans on Friday. It's fascinating because Jinn can possess humans or shapeshift into human or animal form. They can be good or evil, and God had created them thousands of years before humans but they were so vile that he killed nearly all of them, throwing the remaining few to faraway mountains and islands. Then he created humans.
It's beyond interesting and I've already come up with the idea of a set of fraternal twin sisters from Pakistan who are Jinn; and I'm very lucky because I do have a friend in Pakistan that can help me fully flesh out these characters and do them justice to the culture which they're from. She's been very helpful already.
Anyways, I have a house to tour later in a town about an hour and a half away but it's literally a gorgeous house... I don't know if we'll make an offer but I can't wait to see it. I already went out to see my horses and worked my gelding, fed them both grains and alfalfa so they're super spoiled today.
Hope your day goes well.
It occurs to me that without treating my anxiety as a serious health concern, I never would have written, finished, published Ascend. It's incredible to me that taking that small step and forcing myself to treat my anxeity with medication has led to the amazing, wonderful accomplishment of publishing my first novel. It's true what they say... Baby steps work.
I go see a psychiatric nurse on Wednesday to ensure my continued treatment but it should be simple enough. I just have a lot of anxiety when it comes to medical care and finding doctors and nurses that don't judge me for my dyed red hair or my tattoos. It's rarer these days that such things designate my position in care. Now it's just my gender and the stereotype that women's pain must be ten times worse than men's to get basic treatment is true at times.
My anxiety is not taken seriously by some medical "professionals" and it has caused me to face years of unrelenting terror inside despite all rational thought. Positive thoughts do not work alone. I've tried. Medication, even small doses of the right medication, work wonders on helping a human function like they should. It shouldn't be a fight to be allowed to continue thriving. My doctor in California actually said "I don't want you to become dependent on these." I remember replying, "yea, because not feeling terrified would be an addicting feeling." Her expression was bewildered and she just muttered something about the opiod epidemic, which is NOT THE SAME. My anxiety medication is NOT an opiod. To equate the two is horrible.
Anyways, I wrote all this as a way of saying: Don't give up. Mental illness is real. Mental Disorders are real. Don't give up. You are valid. You deserve care and that includes self-care, meaning actual medical treatment. If you have to sort through doctors to find one that fits for you, well, I hope you have the privilege to do so because I know that's not a guarantee in the US, and being in remote areas can make therapy hard to access (trust the girl that lived above the 54th Parrallel in Manitoba for years) but you deserve care. Fight for yourself because others won't always. Don't give up.
Maybe one day, you'll accomplish the one thing you've been dreaming of. For me achieviving my first dream (writing my novel) has just made my dreams grow bigger...
Love yourself as much as you love anything else. You deserve to feel hope and love, always. Be well.
Over the last few days, we've been going from house to house, trying to find the exact right place for us. We've seen some really lovely places and some... less than lovely places, but we still haven't found IT... "It" being our home. So this afternoon, we will go up and see another one. This one is the furthest out but... it's my husband's dream home and since he's the one who has to drive it daily, his is the final decision. I don't want to describe anything, not until we've made an offer and it's been accepted. Then there will be something to describe.
In the meantime, I found my e-book on Apple, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Booktopia and if you find it other places, please let me know. This is an exciting time in my life, especially finally publishing the first novel of what I hope will be a well-loved series. And yes, I am working on Descend, the second book of the series.
Another busy week ahead... I am hopeful though.