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It's been a busy few days, which is the new normal, I suppose. My children seem completely oblivious to the amount of stress I'm under and honestly, that's the worst part of all of this: trying to remain even keeled in my parenting and my approach to life for their sakes. I, of course, wish they realized their fighting is making things worse, but, alas, they're kids and brothers and sisters fight like kids do.
Things are on track for the house and I was relieved to learn I do not need a building permit for my horse's shelter. I am really anxious about all of it though because money will be super tight until next spring. I am just hoping we make it through without too much turmoil, since it is the biggest life change I'll ever make... living somewhere forever. I've never moved somewhere with the intention of never leaving before. I've always considered everywhere temporary. "Who cares if they don't like me? I'm leaving in a year..." is a thought I've had more than once and in more than one state/province/country. This is different. Every first impression is important and scary. I know they won't all like me, they won't all want to include me but I will be honest and say that I am really afraid of the judgement from the civilian American world because most have never left their state, let alone country and I am this outsider. I've always been an outsider. I want to belong. Is that so shameful to say? I just want to have what it seems everyone else has had: a community, a family, a home. I want my kids to have that too. In the latest writing news, I am excited to say that my first author interview dropped yesterday (which I regret not posting about but to be honest, I forgot in the hubbub of my current chaos). Check it out here. Other than that, just watching Keanu Reeves in John Wick for the first time and honestly, I get the appeal. He's badass in this series. I had to skip over the dog killing scene but the rest of the premise I dig. Well, lots of love.
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