 Durango, my 18yo Dun gelding. Finally spring has arrived in actuality. Though it is a bummer as that does mean outdoor hockey is over until November, but I am still very happy for the warm weather. Today I was able to spend time with my horses after the gym. I ran Durango in the roundpen, though he wasn't really in the mood so it was mostly just about bonding with him and Sage. It was good for the soul in so many ways.
I've been struggling to find focus again, which seems to be the default for me over the past couple of years. I feel as though I am going through an evolution of some kind. Consistency with the gym does help somewhat, but it's not enough to fill the emptiness inside. It's just been incredibly lonely despite trying to make friends. It's hard to move to a small-town and fit in when you've always been the outsider everywhere. I am trying though. I've been going out more to socialize and being active helps. My hockey team will still meet up this summer, and I am one of the coaches of the spring indoor clinic with Parks and Rec. I may join softball if someone needs an extra player, but I'm not sure that'll happen. The person who runs the team I could join isn't a fan of me, so I'm not banking on it. I am training harder at the gym in hopes to really be prepared for more intense hiking. I've become friends with the guy who works out at the same time as we are both coaching the clinic, and it turns out we've got a lot in common. He's helping me with my gym goals, and we're planning to go on some hikes to help prep me for my goal of hiking the entire Grand Canyon, which is probably the best thing for me right now. Setting goals and pushing myself forward keeps me going. I am also auditioning for the summer professional season at the Butte this Saturday. They are all paid roles so I honestly don't know if I really have a shot, but I'm going to try. Comfort zone be damned. Wish me luck. The kids have been sick on and off for weeks, which has been a struggle for me mentally as I've had to cancel plans, skip the gym and miss out on writing days. It also reiterates the struggle to have a schedule that's reliable enough to make me employable... except maybe the shows. Anyways, that's my update. Ciao for now.
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