Le Sigh...

My husband went to Europe on Sunday and of course our children all came down with a bad cold so they were unable to attend their charter this week. I did, however, email their teacher and get their Spanish words and phrases to practice so they would be prepared when they go back next week. Other than that, because they're sick, they've been sleeping in each morning. It's after 8 for the second day and all are still asleep, or are just waking up (I literally heard the first noise from downstairs a moment ago). 

I'm feeling overwhelmed in the lonely. I know that sounds funny but when my husband leaves, he takes away my adult world. I don't have talk to my siblings often enough, mostly due to the fact that I was not raised with them and, in fact, my baby sister didn't even know I existed until she was 15 years old. I am 11 years older than her and she had no idea I existed for years but I knew about her from the moment she was born. I don't have parents. The only parent I ever had died almost a decade ago (next month). He was the only person who loved me the way a parent is supposed to love their child. My mother was an abusive alcoholic junkie and I was told by the police I am never allowed to see or talk to her again, freeing me from the turmoil that was being her daughter. My biological father didn't even tell my sister I existed so that's how close we are. 

And I miss my friends... all of them. From all around the world. I miss the connection I had to people in other places, people who didn't consider me an outsider because they were outsiders too... I miss that connection... that love. My friends were and are so very important to me, but I haven't really made a new one in my time here so far. Too busy being a parent to my kids and then... no one wants to befriend someone moving an hour and a half away from them. I'm tired of trying to make friends. So many false faces out there, it's hard to know who to trust and I have a bad habit of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt... 

And before someone is like "whatever, girl has everything," don't get me wrong. I'm complaining, yes, but I also recognize that my life could be worse. It's just a bit lonely and difficult at the moment. 

Closing for the dream house has been pushed back until September 19th now, which puts it at about a week before hubs comes home. It works out alright but I have to admit, the stress isn't fun. I just want to get it over with so we can get this move over with so I can start our "real" life. 

I am also in a bit of a funk due to lack of book sales. It seems my book has had no interest in a week and as it's only six weeks old, it's not a promising sign. 

Other than that, I don't know... I hope to get some more writing done. The BETA readers have the first chapter and I have a self-imposed deadline on Friday to meet, plus the Farrier (the horse hoof trimmer) comes tomorrow). 

Anyways, that's all for now. Hope you all have a good Tuesday. Lots of love.