I am trying to take steps towards a future where I have some sense of control over my own life.
The first major step was officially buying the course to become a certified personal trainer through NFPT. It includes one year to take the exam, so that's my main priority. The goal is to be a personal trainer to women who need a more focused workout that actually works for them (men train differently and it never worked for me to get started). The secondary goal is to qualify to become a gym teacher through the local school. I am in no rush for that part, but it would be ideal in the long run. For now, I am simply taking notes, watching fitness videos and working my ass off (hopefully on actually) at the gym. The second less important part was to start reading books that matter again. I've started with "The Untethered Soul" which was actually someone else's impulse buy but since I have had it, and been reading it around town, so many people have said they have read it or have been recommended to read it, so clearly a good find, and though I haven't gotten too far into it, I find it has already altered my mindset. I am writing the important bits in my journal, along with working out my inner turmoil. The third thing is focusing on writing more. I have been revising Ascend to republish on its fourth anniversary. I genuinely think this revision is the right move. I am dealing with another depressive episode, which is difficult. I have high functioning depression so there's a part of me that will do everything I HAVE to do, but then I crash from sheer exhaustion. It's been really hard to keep working out, writing, studying and just being a mother of four without feeling overwhelmed, but I'm not going to give up. "You are one of the most determined people I know," a friend once said to me. What he failed to say was I am only once I have decided to act. The good news is: I have decided to act. I have 363 days to complete my personal training course and 8 months to finish writing Contend. Oh, in other much more fun news: I have my first tattoo appointment booked in over a year! It's my test tattoo with this one, but I've got a good feeling. It's on the 4th, and I'm getting a sun/moon/tree of life thing on my ribs (the untattooed side). Yay. Lots of love, Leia
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